Stan's Stories

Liz and Pauline

Two 90-year-old women, Liz and Pauline had been friends all of their lives, and they especially liked a guy named Des.

When it was clear that Liz was dying, Pauline visited her every day.

One day Pauline said.................... (Click here to read more)

The Bowling Trip

A Bowler called home to his wife and said, "Honey, I have been asked to go bowling at Torquay with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you............ (Click here to read more)

Tony and Yvonne's Story

Tony and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Tony watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day........................................(Click here to read more)

Borat plays bowls

The team's manager said that his top player would have performed better at the last tournament, if it hadn't been for the drinking and smoking and sex . . . especially between ends.

Our Yearly Dementia Test--- only 4 questions:

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As
we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you
lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the
last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may
have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it
or not.

The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made
your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1.
What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do
something else…
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to
Question 2.

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer:
Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question.
Your
brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading
more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said
'water', proceed to question 3.
3.
If a red house is made from red bricks and

A blue house is made from blue
bricks and
A pink house is made from pink bricks and
A black house is
made from black bricks,
What is a green house made from?

Answer:
Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said 'green bricks,' why are you
still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4. Without using a calculator
-
You are driving a bus from London to Milford
Haven in Wales.
In London, 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading,
6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Swindon,
2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff, 11 people
get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea, 3 people get off and
5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3
get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven...
Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus
driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember
your own age...
It was YOU driving the
bus!

​Handsworth Wood Lawn Bowls Club

The team's manager said that his top player would have performed better at the last tournament, if it hadn't been for the drinking and smoking and sex . . . especially between ends.

Handsworth Wood Lawn Bowls Club